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3 things about CrossFit that may get you riled up

30
May

3 things about CrossFit that may get you riled up

There’s been a proliferation of “I quit CrossFit” or “CrossFit will give you malaria” or “CrossFit is Satan incarnate” -type blogs circulating through the interwebs.

Y’know what?

I am fucking sick of it.
And I know I’m not alone.

So I’m putting some shit out there.
And if you think I’m a raging dickhead for the things I say…

1) I don’t care.
2) Read the whole fucking article. I explain myself pretty well.
3) If you still think I’m a raging dickhead after #2… learn some fucking personal responsibility.

Thing #1: If you get hurt doing CrossFit… IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT.
(Or someone threw a kettlebell at you.)

It’s been 6 years since I started CrossFit.
I have not once gotten hurt bad enough to have to modify my training for more than a few weeks at a time.

Why? Three reasons, and if you follow them you’ll be fine.
As with most things… they’re easier said than done.

1. Body awareness. Have good posture and mobility, strong abs and a strong back, and move well.

2. Enthusiasm mixed with patience. Never, EVER, go to the point where form breaks down considerably.
Sometimes a heavy lift may not look totally perfect–you’ll be fine–, but cringe-worthy is NEVER okay.
(Y’all in RWS know what I’m talking about. I see ugly lifts, I will yell at you.)
Top priority always needs to be DO NOT GET HURT.
Try to make every single rep perfect, ALWAYS.
None of this “80% perfect/20% slop” fucking bullshit I hear about.
If Froning can do it and win the goddamn Games, you have no excuse.

3. Good programming. Varied and frequent strength work, and varied and frequent conditioning work.
Loaded carries, lunges, change of direction, sprinting, along with all the normal iron-and-gymnastics CrossFit stuff.
And do it right.

So if you get hurt? You probably move like shit. AND THAT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

Yes, a good coach will do everything possible to prevent injury and to fix you if it happens.

We at RWS view that as the single most important thing we can do to improve your quality of life and get you the best possible results.

Hell, one of our coaches is an Athletic Trainer with a Master’s Degree and several different assessment and therapy techniques, going far beyond “smash it with a ball.” …which is MY solution to pretty much everything.
(And she can probably lift more than you, brah.)

This is NOT just something we write off as “eh fuck it, not our problem.”
Fuck that, and fuck people who do that.
We take this shit really seriously because we KNOW what’s at stake.
And we will ABSOLUTELY do everything we can for you.
More than you’ll get at many PT clinics and for less expense.

But your body was built to move a certain way, and it’s NOT our goddamn fault that nobody showed you the owner’s manual.

If I bail incorrectly on a snatch and drop the bar on myself, it’s not the snatch’s fault.
If I fall over on a handstand and land awkwardly, it’s not the handstand’s fault.
It’s my fucking fault for doing it wrong even if I don’t know exactly how it happened.
No movement–push, pull, squat, jump, lift, lunge, sprint, carry, throw–is inherently dangerous.
Some are just less forgiving of error.

Blaming CrossFit for your poor movement patterns and getting hurt is like never changing the oil in your car and blaming the freeway when your engine explodes.

Thing #2: If you don’t make progress with CrossFit… IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

True, you might just have a bad coach and/or bad programming, but it’s much more likely that you are lazy with your recovery.
Eat more meat & veggies, fruit & starch only within an hour of your workout, and cut the sugar and booze.
Get some sleep. Mobilize where you’re tight, and do it frequently if you’re really bad off.

I’ve experienced both sides–I’ve plateaued due to poor recovery, and due to programming that wasn’t ideal for me.

So did I whine about it?
…A little, honestly. Shit’s frustrating as hell when you live this stuff.
But I sacked the fuck up every time.
I took full responsibility, I learned my lessons, and I became a better athlete and coach because of it.

And if your coach doesn’t emphasize safety or doesn’t use good programming with variety in strength and conditioning…
Just get a new coach. There are enough good ones now.

A lot of people cite the short certification process and claim that CrossFit is “diluting the brand” and that “crappy coaches are everywhere.”

That’s fucking bullshit.

I’ve been in this game for 6 years, running a box for over 3.5 years, and the truth is that the average level of knowledge for a CF affiliate owner is EXPLODING.

Yes, there will always be dumbasses and ignoramuses, but they comprise a much smaller percentage of the whole than they used to.
They’re either improving or leaving, for the most part.
We’re seeing more gyms using good programming, and more coaches with academic backgrounds and/or multiple specialty certs.

Watch any other sport or athletic discipline and see how long it takes for the number of highly knowledgeable coaches to increase tenfold.
If it takes more than a decade, it’s not doing as well as CrossFit.
And just wait and see what will happen in the next decade as the market becomes saturated and only good coaches will survive.
It’s going to be interesting.

Thing #3: If you don’t do CrossFit… YOU ARE NOT AS FIT AS YOU COULD BE.

I don’t mean that you need gymnastic rings and barbells and call it “CrossFit-with-a-bright-shiny-fuckin’-trademark symbol” or you’re a fat lazy shit.
I mean that if you want to get anywhere near your physical potential, you need to practice moving external loads and your own bodyweight as many safe ways as possible, and to progressively make it more difficult.

It could be bodyweight stuff with running and kettlebells, like what we do in World’s Best Boot Camp.
That’s a balanced workout program with a different emphasis and more accessibility to people without recent athletic experience.
Still basically CrossFit, just by another name and for a slightly different demographic.
And it fucking changes people’s lives.

You only run? That’s cool, but you’re not as strong as you could be. Also, if you run too much you erase your health advantage over a couch potato. Seriously.
You only lift heavy? That’s also cool, but you’re probably useless for anything requiring endurance.
You only do bodyweight stuff? That’s actually the best way to go if you only do one thing, but you aren’t as strong as a lifter or as fast as a runner.

And if you only play sports? No problem… if you hate your joints and connective tissues.
You have to practice movement in a controlled setting before you throw unpredictable collision forces into the mix.
Sports without strength & conditioning is like jumping into a NASCAR race without spending any time on the track.
(It’s fucking stupid and you will crash the damn car.)

If you never lift any kind of challenging weights…
If you never work on basic calisthenics…
If you never run as fast as you can for varying distances…
YOU ARE NOT AS FIT AS YOU COULD BE.

It’s that simple.

And if you disagree with me?

ZERO fucks will be given.
I don’t need to hate on you to feel good about myself.
I’m the one holding the owner’s manual for the human body.
I’m the one who can probably outlift AND outrun you (unless you can deadlift 500# and run a sub-6 mile).
I’m the one who will probably live longer AND better than you will, and look better doing it.

You can follow me and take the medicine I’m offering, which is being supported by a rapidly increasing amount of research…
or you can refuse it and settle for inferiority.

If you don’t care about that…it’s YOUR goddamn problem.

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