Like any seasoned and, let’s face it, jaded missionary, long ago I came to the conclusion that you just can’t save everyone; I’m talking of course about CrossFit. I will always believe that CrossFit (defined as constantly varied, high intensity, functional movement performed against a backdrop of quantitative analysis) is the most effective fitness program in existence when done right and technically it can be scaled to fit literally anyone’s needs. That said, reality and human nature have other plans. Shocking, an exercise program that works because it’s physically and mentally demanding doesn’t fit everybody. If it did, I’d be making a LOT more money than I am, but I digress. Even at our gym–where we work on mobility and strength and stick to lower-skill movements until a good foundation has been established–I can draw conclusions about who doesn’t make the cut, so if you’re thinking about whether or not to pull the trigger on trying CF let me save you some time.
These are obstacles that will require no small amount of determination and perseverance to overcome:
- severe lack of mobility, strength, and/or conditioning
- complete absence of athletic background/poor body awareness
- large amount of fat that needs to be lost
- poor self-control regarding food and/or alcohol
- fear of trying new foods
Unfortunately many of these things tend to go together, and if you’re used to sitting on the couch subsisting on pizza and beer, the CrossFit lifestyle is a radical departure in every conceivable way. If you want to reap the advertised benefits of CrossFit, you need to adopt the lifestyle (even if only one piece at a time). The human body and brain LOVE homeostasis, and they will fight you as you try to effect a change. If you’re not ready and willing to fight back, don’t bother. Save yourself, and more importantly me, the time and energy. Go back to your sedentary lifestyle; go back to your pizza and beer, or sweets and bread, or whatever it is you subsist on that’s not meat and vegetables; savor the fleeting satisfaction of addictive food until it becomes obesity, type-II diabetes, osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, and a low quality of life followed by an early death and/or crushing financial burden placed on your loved ones. This is harsh but it’s reality; I’ve seen it happen many times in my family both extended and immediate, and I’ll be goddamned before it happens to me.
If you are ready and willing to fight the criminally negligent status quo of a sickly homeostasis perpetuated by processed food and laziness, and you want to feel as confident and fit as a motherfuckin’ superhero on a daily basis, then join us. We have grass-fed rib-eyes…and abs.